“One Bite” Rule Myth
Why the “One Bite” rule is not helping your child’s eating
I often hear parents ask their child to take one bite of everything regardless of how the child feels. But when we stop to reflect, we need to ask: is this approach truly for the child’s benefit – or does it serve to ease the parent’s anxiety?
“Just take a bite and then you can leave the table”
This phrase can seem harmless, but when we ask a child to eat something they are not ready for, it can feel overwhelming – almost like asking an adult to lick a snack. It’s not about the food; it’s about control, comfort and trust.
Understanding your Toddler’s world
Your child or toddler is learning to navigate life for the first time. They are experiencing all these new emotions and foods everyday. When they become toddlers they start to learn that they have autonomy. They’re learning that their “yes” and “no” carry weight – and parents often listen and respond to both.
Think about it: if your toddler says “no” to wearing pants, you probably still help them get dressed. If they say “no” to going to Disneyland, you know they don’t really mean it. So why, when they say “no” to broccoli, do we immediately assume they genuinely dislike it?
Toddler eating a breakfast of scrambled eggs, eats happily on her own.
Toddlers Aren’t Mini Adults
Calling toddlers “small adults” can lead us to expect them to have adult-like awareness of their feelings and preferences. In reality, they’re still figuring it all out. they are going off of feeling and what’s happening around them, but they don’t always know yet if they actually like something or not.
Imagine you are eating a muffin, you are exploring how it feels in your hands, in your mouth, and you are learning how to use your hands for the first time. You’re not just tasting – it’s a full sensory experience. You are exploring how to open and close your grasp. You are exploring how sauces feel on your skin. Up until now, the only food you’ve known is milk. Everything else is completely new and sometimes overwhelming.
How the “no” phase shapes food preferences
Around the age of one, toddlers also learn something important: if they throw food on the floor of hand it back, it disappears. If they say “no,” that food may not come back again. As parents, we often take these responses as hard indicators that they do not like that food, and we stop offering those foods altogether. Overtime though, this leads to a shrinking variety of accepted foods and increased pickiness.
Babies are really smart. They are processing so much information in their first few years of life. And those little humans have us wrapped around their finger. So its no wonder they learn that they can get sneaky with the foods that are being served to them.
What to Do Instead
If you're raising a toddler who’s still learning to eat, one of the best things you can do is gently challenge the signals we think we’re getting.
If they hand a food back, offer it again.
If they throw it off the tray, calmly place it back on their plate.
If they say they don’t like something, respond with curiosity: “That’s okay. What does it smell like? What does it feel like in your hands?”
Don’t stop offering the food. Exposure, without pressure, is key.
